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My Home

We are the last two people on the planet.
We are its keepers, we fear nothing.
These are our lives, this is our dream.
There is no hope for one without the other.
In our bed, in our meadow of grass,
We stow ourselves away, never to wake from this dream.

We found a secret garden in each other's arms,
Planted with euphoria, where we'll live outside of time
And we'll always be young.
What we've found here will leave an impression on the earth
Long after we've left it.

The earth is my bed,

The sky is my blanket...

And you are my warmth.

Oct. 19, 2011

Down Deep

So far I've swam
To the bottom of the ocean floor
And up again.
Down, down, so deep
I can't take a breath
Or see the sun past the grim darkness.
Breathless, blind, down deep.
I am here again.
I've drowned myself many a time.
I am a part of the deep.
I am. But guiltless, for
I know what I did to be here.
Stuck way down deep,
I dug my own grave
And now I sink into it.
With eyes shut.

Wrong Turn

You gotta stop the ferris wheel, I wanna get off.
As I drop everything I was previously holding in my arms,
You tell me of more unfortunate circumstances,
And I gotta act quickly.
Sometimes lie,
Sometimes confess,
Sometimes say nothing.

You just want me to feed the masses with my own body.
I'm only human.
I'm only you.
That's just what I think.

But I remember feeling trapped,
And that's why I can never be.
You've all got it so wrong.
We all have it just SO wrong.
It's all wrong.
I'm tearing out my hair and screaming
As I sit still, unmoved,
Reveling in my sadness...
A reverie of my chaotic mind.

Then I come back.
And start the whole thing over again.


Jane is making a statement.
Jane is jumping rope with her husband and family
In the front yard.
Smiling through gritted teeth.
Smoking a cigarette behind a curtain,
In front of a window.
Peeling the paint from the walls.
Kicking down the doors.
Screwing the next door neighbor.
(To spite his fake ass wife.)
And lighting up again.
Making sure to hide the cigarette-butts in the garden.
Picking up the kids from school.
Pretending to like a poorly drawn family portrait.
"Mommy, mommy, look!"
"Mommy can't hear you darling, her ears are full of valium."
Lingering around cemeteries.
Finding herself unable to cry anymore.
Paranoid about her husband's paranoias.
Blaming him for her problems.
Yet feeling guilty.
Hiding all her feelings.
Hiding all her actions.
The secrets.
"Wrap them up in a package and send them to hell...
I'll pick them up later."
Jane is numb from misery.
Jane didn't want any of this.

Tour Guide

I can be the catalyst for your escape.
You want to get away,
Leave your life,
Say goodbye to reality...
Then come away with me.
I'll show you fantasy.
I'll make all your dreams come true.
I'll be your muse, your goddess, your sorceress.
Look me in the eyes and get lost in them.
Take me by the hand and disappear from the world.
Come away with me.
And stay.

Dizzy, Blind Me

Flickering flame.
Dark room.
And me.

I'm alone.
I'm alone.
I'm alone.


All alone...
Until I shut my eyes.
Then there's you.

Your fair skin, soft beneath my touch.
Your embrace, tight around me.
Your kiss, light on my neck.
Your eyes, fixed on mine.

And my eyes...
Drawing you in.
My fair skin, soft beneath your touch.
My body, wrapped in your's.
My lips seal your demise.

And around we go...
Until I blink.

Flickering flame.
Dark room.
And I'm alone.


Dawn, I find myself once again
Neither going to or from my own home.
Going from one hell into another,
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.

It's not your fault you've scorned me.
Walking somewhere in the morning
Completely beaten down by flashes.
Flashes bash my mind to ashes
Leaving gashes filled with salt
Please, I promise, not your fault.
Turn and halt; the world is spinning
I feel trapped beneath my sinning
And it's beginning, but I'm alone here
While you have someone in your arms, dear.
Beaten by fear, I'm awaking
My integrity forsaking
(Shaking, breaking, aching, whispers)
Whispers, whispers, whispers, voices
They come and go and fade their noises
And my choices, don't remind me.
I'm the catalyst; you inclined me.
Please don't mind me, just beware my wiles
Next time I'll remember not to smile.

In Process of Losing My Mind.

Lying perfectly still in a moving bed
That ticks and also spins,
I stole the gravestone, erased the name
And I let no one in.

Buried beneath the warmth of blankets,
I sink into the earth.
No one can touch the thoughts I bear
If I don't birth them first.

Alone forever, together but naught;
You're far away from here.
I stole the gravestone, erased the name
And I call no one "dear."

Alone in a cell, together with bugs
And partnered with my shame.
I'll bust the lock and let you in
If you withstand my game.

Lying perfectly still in a spinning cell
With bugs and shame and thoughts,
I stole the gravestone, locked the door
And my mind will remain lost.


One translucent layer ties me
To this plain of reality.
While I might move in my mind
Between plains of immorality and immortality,
My physical existence is stapled
To a single body of flesh
Trapped inside a barrier of skin.


I am empty.
I am the hollow shell of what once was a living, breathing being.
I am lifeless.
I have shined my insides spotless and emptied out my body completely.
I am the first person who looks the same inside and out.
Turn me inside-out.
Find out.

I am expressionless, emotionless,
Mobile only in a metranomic rythym.
That moves back and forth to a certain ticking
Like the heartbeat of a clock has replaced my own.
So I respond in short sentences;
Cold and to the point.
I walk forward with one purpose.
(I have no memory of what that original purpose was).
I am the vague, unreachable purpose of a once living, breathing being.

And I am lost.


i saw my genius while i slept
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